I do the New Testament, little justice in my review of the free flash game Run, Jesus Run! for the guys at SquareGo Magazine.
Run, Jesus Run! – a.k.a. The 10 Second Gospel
Running through the life and events recorded in the New Testament in a few seconds shouldn’t logically be entertaining. Well it isn’t, not for more than a few seconds. You control Jesus as he goes from his manger in a stable bare, and onwards curing lepers, performing a handful of miracles and walking on water. What’s more interesting is the strange compulsion that comes over the player when faced with getting Jesus to his death within “Ten Seconds” and doing it properly.
Starting off with a lovely depiction of the nativity in proper blocky 8-bit glory, baby Jesus launches himself from his manger and shoots off-screen like a gopher on acid. From there it’s simply a case of escaping the lure of the great tempter and performing enough correct actions to accrue all twelve of the apostles. Your progress is handily shown in a last supper screen, followed by the crucifixion (assuming you made it that far) and all of this in only 10 seconds? miraculous. Even more so that we’ve even bothered to take the time to tell you about it.
To be honest the only way to derive more than at most a full minute’s entertainment from this flash game would be if you were so bored you’d already read the New Testament cover to cover and wanted to reference the exact miracles and verse or psalm they occured in. So just in case you were going to I’ll save you the effort, the verses appear above them, however I’d like to contest the fact that at no point in the bible did I ever read “Jesus jumped into a hole near the Devil’s house.” It isn’t in my King James Bible, maybe there’s a teachers’ edition they give to Priests and Ministers. I’ll ask the Pope if I see him on Thursday.
Jesus gets an extra life – I’m struggling with this one, maybe it’s allegorical, feel free to comment and let me know.